Going Hunting
by beaglesplus7
Summary: This story takes place after the Winter Soldier. What happens when Natasha/Black Widow continues working for Fury and how Clint/Hawkeye reacts to her decision. There will be references to scenes in The Avengers, CA:TWS and Agents of SHIELD. Rated T for language and some Suggestive content (in later chapters). Chapter 1 has been expanded to give Natasha more depth.
1. Saying Goodbye to yourself

**AN: This story takes place after the Winter Soldier. What happens when Natasha/Black Widow continues working for Fury and how Clint/Hawkeye reacts to her decision. There will be references to scenes in The Avengers, CA:TWS and Agents of SHIELD. Rated T for language and some Suggestive content (in later Chapters.) Chapter 1 has been revised to give Natasha a little more depth.**

**I own no part of Marvel or its characters.**

* * *

Natasha walked into her apartment, kicked off the heels she had been wearing and let out a frustrated huff "Idiots, complete and utter idiots! I should have just burned the building down around them." It had been a very long couple of days.

Natasha, along with Maria Hill had spent the last several days testifying at hearing after hearing about SHIELD. What did she know? What really happened to Director Fury? When did she learn about Hydra? Who was working for Hydra? The last question had infuriated her. By the end except for a handful of agents it seemed like damn near everybody was part of Hydra. Natasha was done playing along with the group of politicians she considered to be almost as corrupt as Hydra.

"From here on out Maria can deal with the assholes on Capitol Hill." The two women although friends had different agenda's when it came to testifying anyways and very different ideas on what should happen now. Besides Maria was completely cooperating in tearing SHIELD apart. Natasha had been focused on her friends, making sure the politicians understood they still needed people like Tony, Steve and Clint to go after some of the nastier people in the world. And no matter what a certain self-righteous Senator thought there was no way in hell she was telling anyone where Dr. Banner currently was. "Although they would deserve everything they got if I did. What kind of a dumbass wants to go take on the Hulk? Been there, got the t-shirt. You're on your own with that one."

Natasha thought back to the words of a particularly obnoxious senator from earlier that day. "Agent Romanoff, you have two choices here. You can help us finish dismantling SHEILD or you can spend the rest of your life in the deepest, darkest hole we can find." And smirked to herself, "Sorry Senator but I think I'll choose door number three."

SHIELD may be in a shambles, hell her whole life was in a shambles at the moment, everything there was to know about Natasha Romanoff was public knowledge. The very fact that so much of her life was now out there for all the world to see was slowly killing part of her. But none of that mattered; there was still a job to be done. Fury had given Natasha a mission. A mission that there was no way Natasha was going to turn down, it was too damn important to her personally. And truthfully she didn't trust anyone else to do it. There was simply too much riding on this, failure was not an option.

Natasha walked into her small kitchen and pulled a bottle of water out of her refrigerator, mentally going over the instructions Fury had given her. "This is top priority Romanoff; we need to find that artifact. You have to disappear completely. Trust no one, tell no one. You're on your own here; there'll be no SHIELD, no back up. If you get discovered you'll have to get yourself out, preferably alive. But whatever you do **Don't** let them take you. If they use the artifact on you…" But Natasha hadn't need Fury to spell out what happened to someone the artifact was used on; she'd already seen what could happen.

Natasha also knew exactly who it was Fury was worried she'd share the details of her mission with, Clint. But she wouldn't do that to him. He'd been off on his own mission when everything with the Winter Soldier and HYDRA had gone down. Because of what she'd helped Steve do, Clint had been forced to abandon his mission and go underground. She knew he'd gotten out, that he was safe, there several dead Hydra agents in Sri Lanka telling her that much. but she had no idea where he was now, nor did she have anyway of contacting him. Not that she would contact him if she could.

Natasha agreed with Fury this was not something she wanted Clint dragged into. There were too many variables at play, to many unanswered questions. Deep down Natasha had a very bad feeling about this assignment. Something was telling her that for her this was going to be a one way trip. She'd get the artifact, destroy it if she could. But she didn't think she was going to survive.

No, it was better this way. No way would Clint let her go off and do this on her own and no God damn way was Natasha going to risk dragging Clint into a new version of his own personal hell. She owed Clint that much, really she owed him a lot more than that. There was always that red in her ledger she could never seem to wipe out, getting Clint killed alongside her was not another red mark Natasha was willing to take.

Clint would understand one day. "Please understand" She whispered into the empty apartment. This wasn't about leaving him, this was about protecting him. Natasha had seen up close and personal what this artifact could do to a person. She wasn't going to risk Clint or anyone else being hurt by it again.

"No, Fury is right this is a solo mission." One that Natasha knew instinctively was going to take her a long time to accomplish. She really had very little information to go on. But that was one of the many things she did so very well, getting the information she needed.

Natasha threw her empty water bottle into the trash and walked silently over to a bookcase in her living room. She leaned forward so that the barely noticeable camera could scan her eye than quietly spoke the password that always privately amused her into a microphone "цирк" (Circus). A small panel in the wall slide open revealing the little secret she'd kept from everyone. Natasha like all well trained spies had cover ids that no one but she knew about, not even Clint. She reached in and pulled out a couple of different passports. "Hmmm, who should I become now?"

Having quickly decided and taken everything she would need to establish her new life Natasha headed into her bathroom to begin her transformation. The key to becoming someone else was subtlety; none of the over the top, obviously fake disguises Hollywood used. Instead of completely changing her hair color she added brown lowlights to tone down the red. She straightened it and pulled it slightly forward to frame her face and soften her features. Next she put in a pair of colored contacts to change her eye color from their naturally vivid green to a deep chocolate brown.

She stopped and examined herself in the mirror. While she assessed her new look she mentally took everything about her, everything that made her Natasha Romanoff and put it in a box to be tucked away in the farthest corner of her conscience. Slowly and deliberately she made every part of who she really was retreat into that mental box. Clint had called it creepy, the way she could simply and completely cease to be herself, Natasha called it compartmentalizing. She firmly believed you should never give your opponent the slightest hint as to the real you. Mistakes could be made, you could be compromised and you could wind up dead fast.

She reached up, her hands trembling slightly and removed the delicate necklace with the tiny arrow charm from around her neck. "I'm so sorry Clint" She whispered. Natasha felt a deep stab of pain slice across her chest as regret and sorrow threatened to overwhelm her. She knew that she would be hurting Clint by what she was about to do just as much as she was hurting herself. She also knew she didn't really have a choice.

It had taken her so damn long just to get to the point that she could let herself believe in everything Clint had been offering her and now she had to walk away from it. Natasha remembered the first time she'd kissed him that had nothing to do with a cover and everything to do with how she felt about him. She allowed herself a few moments just to feel. Just to remember everything she and Clint had shared and what they meant to each other. Then she took those feelings and stuffed them inside the box marked Natasha and firmly slammed the lid. Just as she'd been trained to do since childhood.

Satisfied Natasha Romanoff no longer existed she gathered up all the trash and put it in a small bag to take with her when she left.

She quickly packed the clothes she thought the new her would wear and everything the Black Widow would need. Then she grabbed some professional camera equipment from her closet. She was almost ready to go.

Once back out in her living room she stopped and took a look around. She was surprised by what she saw. A half-finished book lying on the coffee table next to a vase of tulips, a turquoise blue blanket she'd picked up at a street fair thrown across the back of the tan couch and on the mantle two pictures both of her and Clint. One of the two of them at a local café, the other she'd taken off SHIELD footage of one of their many assignments together in Abidjan. It was a picture of the two of them behind a barricade, Hawkeye using his bow to shoot at the enemy and her with both guns firing doing the same, the two of them at their best.

She silently wondered to herself "When in the hell did I allow this place to become something other than just a place to eat and sleep in? When in the hell did I turn it into a home?" But she knew the answer, the moment she'd let Clint Barton become more to her than just her friend.

Giving herself a mental shake she changed her expression to a small playful, mischievous smile and put a New York Yankees ball cap on her head. She placed the necklace on the kitchen counter and walked out the door talking to herself as she went. "Hi, my name is Alexandra Taylor, Alex to my friends, Freelance photojournalist." Not a trace of her Russian accent could be detected, everything that made her the black widow ready to begin spinning her new web.

**AN: Reviews are always welcome and appreciated.**


	2. The Hawk Selects His Prey

**AN: Since the Avengers movie didn't give any indication what Hawkeye/Clint felt about any of the other Avengers besides Natasha I went with the comic book version were Hawkeye is not overly fond of Captain America. Also, flashback scenes are italicized to separate them from the rest of the story. The flashback scene in this chapter is a little long. **

**I own no part of Marvel**

* * *

**Three hours later**

Clint impatiently waited for the elevator to take him to the floor Natasha's apartment was on. He was bone tired and injured. It had taken a lot to get himself out of Sri Lanka and back to the States without being caught by any of the numerous agencies now looking for him. Hell he'd have stopped for a day's rest in Morocco if he hadn't seen Natasha's face plastered all over the news.

Clint had to smile a little to himself; he'd seen that the capitol building was still standing when he'd driven by. That meant that no one in congress had managed to piss Natasha off enough for her to topple the US government by burning the place down around them.

The elevator came to a stop and Clint stepped out. All he wanted was to see Natasha, ensure himself that she was really ok. Whatever the hell had gone down she had been right in the middle of it. Clint knew that eventually with Natasha working with Captain Steve Morale High Ground Rodgers the shit was going to hit the fan. Well, apparently it had in a big way. First word had gone out that Captain Rodgers was wanted for killing Director Fury and then word had reached him that Agent Romanoff was wanted as well for aiding and abetting the Captain. After that all hell had broken loose in SHIELD. He still couldn't make himself believe that Director Fury was dead.

"Damn it! I should have been here, not chasing after some ghost in the Sri Lankan jungle." Clint growled out. He knew Natasha could take care of herself but he still felt better when he was the one there to back her up.

Clint unlocked the door and stepped inside. It took only a few moments after he'd entered to realize that Natasha was already gone. The faint smell of hair dye hung in the air, the familiar scent telling him she'd changed her look. A pair of shoes left in the middle of the room, something that the obsessively tidy Natasha wouldn't have been able to stand for ten seconds. The last time Clint had left an empty glass sitting on her coffee table Natasha had sent the offending objecting hurling passed his head to be shattered on the wall.

"Well shit…What the bloody hell has happened now Tasha?" She would have known that the second Clint had found out HYDRA had compromised SHIELD that he would head straight for her. "Stick with who you trust" that was their motto. With both Coulson and Fury dead the only person left Clint trusted completely was Natasha.

He walked farther into the apartment and started looking for whatever clue she would have left him. Something that would tell Clint and Clint alone where she had gone.

Clint let his gaze wander around the room. Despite the fact that all of her belongings where still there the apartment had an empty feeling to it. Whatever was going on Clint knew Natasha had no plans for returning any time soon.

He let his gaze wander some more and that's when he saw it. The waning sunlight from the window glinting on the necklace he had given her. Clint felt the impact like a body blow. There were no clues the message was clear, Natasha had left. Left SHIELD, left Washington, left him. Clint put his already injured hand through the wall.

He sank down on the couch letting the weariness of the last few days wash over him. He'd fought his way through multiple countries and had gone days without sleep to get back to a woman that hadn't bothered to wait around for him to get there. Clint was angry, almost as angry as he'd been at himself and Loki when he'd realized how many good agents he'd helped kill for Loki.

He sat there staring at the picture on her mantle of the two of them in Abidjan, the memories of the first time he'd met her playing in his head.

* * *

**_Bamako, Mali 2008_**

_The mission was clear find out what or who the Black Widow's latest target was then eliminate her. "If everything I read in her file is true I'll be doing her a favor. " Trained from early childhood to be a spy and a cold blooded killer the woman had never had any chance at a real life any ways. "Christ her body count after only a few years is higher than most assassins that have been at the job for decades. " _

_Hawkeye watched from his perch on a rooftop across from the BCEAO Tower as the Black Widow walked down the street, the city was hot and dusty but you'd never know it looking at her. Whatever she was after it had to do with that building, this was the third day in a row she'd been there. _

_And the third persona she'd adopted. Hawkeye had to admit she was good. If he hadn't been specifically looking for her even he would have assumed it had been three different women visiting that building. The first time he'd seen her she'd looked like a fresh faced, newly arrived aid worker, ready to tackle poverty and disease all on her own. Yesterday it had been a business woman wearing an expensive suit, her walk quick and determined like someone that had a job to do and was in a hurry to get it done. _

_Today she looked like a socialite that had suddenly found herself some place she didn't want to be. Impeccably dressed she coolly walked down the street as if all the poverty and the people around her were beneath her notice. _

_It wasn't just the different ways she had dressed. Everything about her changed with each cover; the way she walked, her mannerisms, the way she tilted her head or spoke to people. Nothing about her was the way it had been the day before or the day before that. Nothing indicated who she really was; no piece was ever a part of the real story that was her. If Hawkeye hadn't been sent there to kill her he'd have been very interested in getting the Black Widow to tell him exactly how she accomplished it so perfectly. _

"_Whoever her target is the poor SOB doesn't stand a chance, they'll never see her as a threat until it's too late." He whispered to himself grudgingly admiring her ability._

_Hawkeye continued to watch the Black Widow make her way down the street when he noticed a commotion in front of her. A man was alternately hitting and kicking a small girl down the road, a girl that couldn't be more than seven or eight years old. He felt his fingers tighten on his bow as he wondered how he could but an arrow through the bastards head without the Black Widow being alerted of threat to herself. _

_He grew angrier as he watched the Black Widow come up on the other two and keep walking as though nothing worth her notice was taking place around her, her mask never changing. "Soulless Bitch!" he growled out just as she passed the man, her arm swinging out. The little girl's attacker crumbled to the ground in an unconscious heap. _

_Hawkeye was stunned and fascinated. As the Black Widow turned around to face the little girl everything about her had transformed in an instant. The smile she gave the child was inviting and comforting as she bent over, holding her hand out waiting patiently for the little girl to take it. She completely ignored the man lying at her feet as though he'd never existed, as though she didn't even know how to incapacitate a man with one blow._

_He watched as the child tentatively put her small hand in the woman's. The Black Widow picked the girl up and carried her over to a nearby fountain. Removing the scarf from around her neck the Widow began attending to the child's injuries and cleaning her up. All the while smiling and talking to the girl. By the time the Black Widow had finished the young girl had not only stopped crying but was actually giggling at what the Widow was saying to her. Once satisfied with the girl's condition the Black Widow pressed some money into the girl's hands and in return the girl gave her something that Hawkeye couldn't make out. The Black Widow's smile widen as she placed a kiss on the girl's head and shooed her on her way. Hawkeye felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him and he knew his mission had just changed. _

"_Director Fury is just going to have to suck it up. I'm not killing her." Hawkeye vowed. It wasn't the first time Hawkeye had changed the parameters of a mission based on what he felt was right. It wouldn't be the last either. But this time for a reason he really couldn't define it mattered to him in a way it never had before. _

"_Now how do I convince Fury I'm right and more importantly how do I approach a woman that can kill me without getting a hair out of place?" The first question he had no answer to yet, but for the second one he had an idea._

_The next day Hawkeye was back in his now familiar perch impatiently waiting for her to make an appearance, he felt an excitement he hadn't felt in a very long time. Convincing Directory Fury that it would be in SHIELD's best interest to recruit the Black Widow as an agent rather than killing her hadn't been easy. But eventually something Hawkeye had said had persuaded the older man. The conversation last night had ended with the Director's usual threat "If this goes south it's all on you Hawkeye. So do your damn job!"_

_Today to the casual observer she looked like a beautiful tourist fascinated by her surroundings, but Hawkeye knew the woman was cataloging everything she saw. "Sorry Sweetheart, change of plans" he said as he let his arrow fly, it landed perfectly. Embedded in a wall six inches in front of her face, the shaft with the note he'd attached to it directly in her line of sight. _

_Hawkeye couldn't believe it, she didn't flinch, her expression never even changed. It was almost as if she'd always known he was there and had simply been waiting for him to make his move. She looked calmly around trying to discern his position while she grabbed the arrow out of the wall and removed the note. He watched while she scanned his short and to the point message. __**I don't miss. We need to talk.**__ A pen appeared in her hand out of nowhere and she quickly penned a reply. After reattaching the note she slammed the arrow back into the wall and stepped around it. The Black Widow looked directly up to where he was perched, gave him a jaunty salute and continued on her way. Nothing about her said anything out of the ordinary had just happened._

_Hawkeye waited before retrieving the arrow, making sure that the Black Widow had left the area. Her reply had been equally short __**8pm Le Loft. **__It was a well-known restaurant in the city. Hawkeye let out the breathe he hadn't even been aware he'd been holding. "Looks like I have a date." He said smiling to himself._

_He arrived early to the meet and tried to find a place in the restaurant that afforded the most secure seat. He was taking a risk meeting with the Black Widow like this, no need to increase the tactical advantage she already had. "I want to talk to her not get carried out in a body bag. " He mumbled to himself. _

_Hawkeye had selected a seat that he thought gave him the best vantage point to see her arrival. The last thing he wanted was for the other lethal assassin to sneak up on him. At ten minutes past eight he started to get antsy. "Christ! What if she's just taken off?" Written the mission of as compromised and left the country. The tension in him started to rise. "Fury will kill me and then just assign someone else to hunt her down." _

_He felt her presence only an instant before he smelled the scent that he would latter come to associate as her. The slight whiff of vanilla from her shampoo, the musky scent of an expensive perfume. He realized despite his careful planning he hadn't seen her coming. His body tensed waiting for her to strike but instead she leaned down next to his ear and whispered "Not a chess player I see, no, a gambler. Very dangerous choice Agent Barton." He felt her accented sultry voice wrap around his soul the same instant shock set in that she knew who he was. _

_Hawkeye had always told everyone he saw better from a distance and he'd certainly seen that she was beautiful; but up close her beauty engulfed him, stealing his breathe away. Her hair was swept up with a few stray curls allowed to hang loose; her turquoise dress perfectly accentuated her pale skin and fiery red hair. Her look told everyone around that she was out for an evening of entertainment with her companion. But her eyes told Hawkeye a different story, she was all business and she was dangerous. _

_She sat down across from him and not wanting to let her feel as though she had the upper hand Hawkeye spoke "A glass of wine Agent Romanova?" Although he knew there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice. The file on her had stated that Natalia Romanova was a name she used frequently but even SHIELD was uncertain if that was her actual name. _

_The Black widow looked at Hawkeye her tone amused with him. "You went to all this trouble to ask me my real name? Is it important?"_

"_Well it certainly makes having a civilized conversation easier" Hawkeye drawled back, smiling at her. He was losing control of this quickly and he needed to reign it back in._

_But The Black Widow did it for him as she switched back to being all business "Is that what this is? A civilized conversation between colleagues? My name is what I'm told it is. I am who I need to be. Now what is it that SHIELD wants from me, other than my head delivered on a silver platter to your Director?"_

_Hawkeye refused to let her see that she had again managed to surprise him with just how well informed she was. He got straight to the point laying out her options in a clear and concise manner for her. He observed her closely as he told her SHIELD wanted her to join them and that refusing was simply making herself a target for the rest of her life. But the Black Widow gave a way nothing about what she thought or felt about his offer. She simply looked at him like he was telling her nothing more than an amusing story to entertain her during dinner. He waited for her to give him an answer, refusing to admit even to himself that he was afraid she'd turn him down flat._

"_I'll think about it" She finally said in a voice that sounded like she was politely thanking him for a nice evening._

"_SHIELD isn't going to just wait around forever for you to make up your damn mind!" Hawkeye ground out angrily. He didn't get her. It was either go with him or SHIELD would have her killed, what in the hell was there to think about. _

"_To show you I'm taking your offer seriously I'll tell you something you don't know agent Barton. Alexi Putchenko is here in the city. My job was to find him, then bring him and his research to my employers. If you're still alive in the morning and he's not, you know that my answer is yes. If it's the other way around….Well then, it really won't be your problem anymore will it." With that she got up from the table to leave pausing only to politely add. "Thank you for dinner."_

_Hawkeye watched her walk away, her hips swaying in a graceful and to Hawkeye's thinking erotic manner. He sat at the table for a long time after the Black Widow left, waiting for all the things he was feeling to coalesce and solidify inside him. This afternoon everything had seemed simple, the woman was worth saving don't kill her. He'd thought his biggest hurdle would be bringing her in to SHIELD headquarters. _

_Tonight everything in his world had changed. What he felt was primal, possessive and predatory. She challenged him in a way no ever had before. Getting her back to SHIELD would be the easy part. He wanted her, pure and simple. Not just in his bed, no he wanted all of her. He wanted to crack every one of the facade's she showed the world and get inside the walls she'd built up around her to keep the rest of the world away. _

_No getting her to join SHIELD was going to be the easy part. Getting her to trust him, to open up to him, making her his, that was where the challenge really lay. But Hawkeye knew a few things about himself with absolute clarity; he was focused, patient and he never missed. The Hawk was going hunting and the Black Widow was his prey, failure was not an option._

_Hawkeye got up from the table, he needed to contact Coulson. Putchenko bought people from human trafficker's to test his biological weapons on, he'd killed hundreds all in the name of his research. And the Black Widow knew where the sadistic bastard Putchenko was, something SHIELD with all its resources hadn't even come close to accomplishing. If she took out the pyscho Fury was likely to throw her a damn ticker tape parade._

_Hawkeye made his way back to his hotel to wait out the night. He hadn't been able to read her, not yet, and it was very possible she would try and come after him. He acknowledged to himself that a part of him was relishing the idea of going a few rounds with her. _

_Early the next morning Hawkeye came down the stairs of his small hotel in search of coffee. There'd been no sign of the Black Widow last night but he didn't trust her enough to just assume that meant she had chosen to accept his offer. _

_But when he reached the lobby she saw her, an unreadable expression on her face. She walked over to him all grace and confidence "Putchenko?" he asked. _

_A small but deadly smile played across her lips "You're still breathing aren't you?" And with that she held out her hand to shake his. "Natasha, Natasha Romanoff" she quietly told him as if she was trying it out for herself. _

_Natasha, it was the only name that would ever truly matter to him._

* * *

**Present Day**

Clint pulled himself out of the past. All those years of hunting her, drawing her out. First partners that trusted each other, then friends that held nothing back from the other, cared for each other. Waiting patiently for her to acknowledge what was really between them and just how deep it ran.

"God damn bitch!" Clint growled out. Did she think this had been a game? Did she think he was something she could play with and then discard when she got bored or things got rough? And yes he would admit things were pretty damn rough right now.

Clint shot up from the couch; he needed to move, to do something. He knew it was a good thing he was alone in her apartment. If anyone else had been there he'd have torn that person apart limb by limb and he wouldn't have given a damn who the other person was. Although if it had been Steve Rodgers he'd have found the experience extremely gratifying.

He stalked over to her mantle and with one violent swipe of his arm sent the pictures of the two them flying across the room to crash down on her wooden floor. He felt only marginally better as he looked down at the destruction. He walked over to the broken pieces and bent down to pick up a small stone that Natasha had also kept on her mantle. He looked at the stone as if it contained all the answers he was seeking about what Natasha had done and maybe it did.

It was just an ordinary rock; it wasn't valuable in any way other than to Natasha. The first time he'd taken her back to SHIELD he'd asked what the little girl on the street in Bamako had given her. Natasha had reached into her bag and pulled out a rock. The look of surprise he had given her that she would carry a rock around with her hadn't been lost on Natasha. She looked back at him like he was a complete idiot and with no emotion in her voice what so ever had explained; she'd helped the girl and the child had given it to her as a way of thanking her. It was the only thing in the world the girl had owned other than the clothes on her back and she'd chosen to give it to Natasha as a gift, that deserved to be treated with respect. That was the second glimpse Clint had gotten of Natasha's soul.

And that's precisely what Natasha had done ever since. Treated the small gift with the respect it deserved, never once considering getting rid of it. "Natasha wouldn't have just left the rock behind." The thought struck Clint like one of Thor's thunderbolts. Natasha wouldn't but one of her many personas would. That meant that Natasha was on a job. But that made no sense, what job and who was she working for, SHIELD was gone.

The more Clint thought about it the more he thought Natasha had taken an assignment. But she'd broken there unspoken agreement. Any time they worked separately they always made sure the other knew exactly where they'd be and how long they thought it would take. That way if things went to hell they could still have each other's backs. Her leaving the necklace on the countertop had been a clear message, goodbye.

He needed to find Maria Hill and find her fast. Natasha had only ever taken orders from Coulson or Fury himself, but both of those men were now dead. The idea of Natasha freelancing or taking orders from another agency left Clint's heart cold.

It was time for the Hawk to once again go hunting.


	3. Shall We Play a Game

**AN: When undercover Natasha Roman****off will refer to herself only as the Black Widow or by her cover name, even in her own head. So for this chapter Natasha/Alex are the same person.**

**I own no part of Marvel.**

* * *

**11 Months Later**

Alex ran up the steps to her apartment entrance; a latte in one hand, a large stack of mail in the other, her camera hanging from around her neck and her cell phone clamped between her teeth. An extremely good looking, tall, blond haired man reached out and took the phone from her mouth, smiling down at her.

"I'm going to have to buy you a watch." The man chuckled at the petite red head; admiring her beauty. She was dressed in bright yellow shorts with a yellow and turquoise tank top, her ever present Yankee's ball cap on her head. For someone that really wasn't very tall her legs seemed to go on forever and Jason felt like he could stare at those legs for hours. Hell he'd like to do a lot more than just look, but Alex so far seemed to want to keep things casual between them and Jason didn't want to push too hard. Not with someone like her, she was too sweet; there was an innocence about her that Jason found endearing.

Oh God! Am I late?! I'm so sorry Jason." She replied, looking completely distressed. "It's just that there was this little old man in Central Park feeding the ducks, he was just so adorable, I needed…"

"To take his picture." Jason finished for her, laughing at her. Alex was certainly smart but she never seemed to know what day of the week it was, much less what time it was. "Alex , if you ever arrived anywhere on time my heart would stop beating due to the shock."

"I know, I'm a terrible girlfriend" she replied laughing at herself with him. "What time does your game start? If you need to leave I'll catch up with you. We can't have the guys from Stark Industries losing in the playoffs just because their star player's girlfriend is a ditz." A part of her wished he would go ahead without her; she had a lot to do.

Jason lightly kissed her before holding the door to the apartment building open for her. "No I can wait. If I left you on your own it would be hours before you made it to the park. "

"I'll only be a few minutes. I just need to freshen up. " She promised as she examined Jason's face before entering the building, ensuring herself that the man she'd been seeing for the last several months saw only what she wanted him to see; an adorable, but slightly scatter-brained woman. Once she was satisfied that he had no idea what she'd spent her day really doing she silently led him up to her apartment lost in her own thoughts.

There was a threat out there. The Black Widow could feel it, she just hadn't been able to identify the source of those feelings yet. She'd left early this morning hoping to ascertain where or who the threat might be coming from. First she'd gone to a local Mixed Martial arts gym that she'd joined when she'd first arrived in town. She'd spent a few hours sparring with some of the men, even going so far as to let them get in a few really good hits. Her goal had been to give the impression she had weaknesses in her fighting style that could be exploited. She wanted whoever was out there to feel secure enough to get closer, close enough for her to trap. She'd spent the rest of her day doing reconnaissance around her neighborhood. She was certain she was being watched and was frustrated she hadn't been able to find any clues as to who was doing the watching. She felt as though she was playing a dangerous game of tag against an unknown opponent. She was also annoyed that someone out there may be able to blow her carefully constructed cover, one she'd spent months fully establishing.

"Damn it! I do not want to have to lose Alexandra Taylor; it's the perfect cover to do this damn job." She thought to herself, but careful none of what she was thinking showed on her face. She'd spent weeks finding just the right man inside Stark Industries that could provide her with the information she needed, all while being careful never to alert any of the Avengers that she was living right under their noses in New York. Jason had proved to be perfect for what she needed. His job was to monitor any strange or dangerous events taking place around the world and send the information up the chain to Tony Stark and the other Avengers. Life was a lot easier if someone else was unwittingly doing the grunt work for you. Making it simpler for her to figure out what incidents might provide her with leads to chase down and which ones to leave to the Avenger's to deal with. It also made it easier to stay undetected if you knew in advance just were one or all of the other Avengers may show up at any given moment. She'd spent months building her relationship with the man now standing in her living room waiting patiently for her to get ready to go out with him. It could all go down the drain if her instincts were right and the Black widow knew her instincts were never wrong.

Alex pulled herself away from her thoughts and put a friendly smile on her face. She was now dressed in jeans and a Stark Industries Iron Men t-shirt to show support for Jason's baseball team. If there was one thing any of Alex's friends knew about her it was that she loved baseball. It was her second greatest passion in life, after being a photojournalist. She walked out of her bedroom and smiled up at Jason. "I'm all set. Time to go watch you guy's show the boys from Capitol One how ball is really played." She told him brightly and silently added to herself "Let's see if you boys have any new intel for me, so that today won't have been a complete waste."

She grabbed her ball cap off of the table and put it on her head causing Jason to shake his head in amusement at her. "You need a new hat."

"Are you kidding, this hat is lucky I can feel it. This hat is going to be the reason they win the World Series this year, you just watch." Alex replied back, knowing that teasing her about her favorite team was one of Jason's favorite things to do. But wearing the ball cap was really about keeping her face hidden from the many surveillance and security cameras all over the city.

'Only if Jeeter doesn't get hurt again." Jason drawled, knowing he would get a rise out of her and she'd argue baseball with him all the way to the park.

"Don't! Don't you even say that out loud! Just don't talk to me about Jeeter, he's breaking my heart." She replied in horror as she walked out of her apartment, keying in a code on her cell to arm the security system she'd personally installed when she'd moved in.

Once outside Alex took a quick look around, the feeling of being watched growing stronger. She shook it off, slide her hand into Jason's and headed for the ball park. There was nothing she could do about her unknown opponent at the moment and the Black Widow had learned long ago exposing yourself was the quickest way to bring someone to you; she'd be ready when they came.

* * *

The man in the shadows watched as the Black Widow put her hand in the other man's and the couple walked away, his eyes cold and angry. Rage swirled around him, rage that was focused entirely on the Black Widow.

He knew where the two were heading; it hadn't been difficult to plant a bug on the other man. But still he waited fifteen minutes after they'd left before stepping out of the shadows and walking into the Black Widow's apartment building. She'd be gone for several hours making tonight the perfect time to learn everything he could about her before deciding when he would strike, and he would strike, but it would be on his terms not hers. He'd watched her all day trying to draw him out, but he knew better than to let her control the circumstances of their meeting.

He carefully opened the door to her apartment all the while keeping an eye out for wires. That she would have a security system in place he had no doubt. He'd almost missed it when he'd found nothing around the door frame, thinking she had opted for a motion sensing system instead. But his eyes caught the slight bulge in the carpet in front of her door a second before he stepped on it. Taking a pen knife he carefully lifted the carpet and found a pressure plate, one attached to a shape charge. Anyone that was unlucky enough to step on it would have found themselves dead in the blink of an eye, no chance of escape.

"I see we're playing dirty." He drawled out as he leapt over the plate. He scanned the room looking for any other surprises she might have left an uninvited visitor such as himself. Relaxing only slightly when he found the small charges cleverly concealed and attached to wires at her windows. Apparently The Black Widow wasn't looking to destroy the entire block, just anyone that dared step inside her domain.

He looked around; nothing he saw said this was the home of the infamous deadly spy and assassin. Everything here was all pastels, flowery and frilly. She was also apparently a bit of a slob. Days' worth of her mail carelessly thrown across the counter top, clothes tossed on the back of a chair, dishes piled up in the sink. Knowing what he already did of the woman he was surprised she hadn't developed a nervous tick living there.

"time to find out what it is you want to protect so badly." He said to himself as he began to get to work searching her place. Once he'd located her computer he turned it on and placed the flash drive he'd brought with him into it. Her security was good but it would be no match for the decryption software he had. He let the program do its job and went to search the rest of the apartment.

It took him a while but he finally found the secret panel she had in the wall of her bedroom. Once he got it open he let out a long whistle. "What in the hell are you up to sweetheart?!" Not only were the usual weapons the Black Widow was known for using there but an arsenal of other SHIELD weapons as well. Some of them prototypes of weapons SHIELD had been developing before it was disbanded. She also had an extremely large quantity of C4 and other explosives, monitoring equipment, night operations gear. Frankly it looked like she'd emptied out a SHIELD armory.

He stepped back amazed. "No one needs this much shit unless they think they're going to be fighting several major battles or a small war all on their own." Whatever she was up to it looked like she was planning to make sure she left a lot of destruction in her wake. "Well I have a little plan of my own and you're not going to like what's coming," he thought bitterly.

He slide the panel closed and went back to her computer. The program had stopped running and everything that was on the computer had now been copied to the flash drive for him to study later. He was about to turn the computer back off when a folder marked photo's caught his eye. What he saw when he opened the folder could only generously be described as gruesome. All of the pictures told the same story; most of them of people that had died horrific deaths, their bodies contorted and mutilated. the pictures showed people that had been tortured in ways he couldn't even begin to imagine. But the ones that struck him the most were the ones of the poor souls that had survived the torture or whatever had been done to them. Their eyes wide and reflecting back looks of insanity and abject terror. 'Jesus, what in the hell are you involved in?"

He couldn't look away and as he scanned the photo's he realized this wasn't some case of mass genocide as he'd first thought it must be. This wasn't about some crazed dictator killing off his own people. No these pictures were taken in several different cities scattered all over the world. He shut the computer off. If he looked at the photos too much longer even someone like him, who'd already seen plenty of death first hand, would start having nightmares about them.

He wandered around the apartment making sure that anything he had touched had been replaced exactly the way he'd found it. When he was satisfied he'd left no physical trace of his presence he exited the apartment and returned to the shadows.

The trick to playing cat and mouse with someone like the Black Widow was first be the cat, second never let the mouse see you coming.

* * *

Alex made her way home after leaving Jason and his team mates still celebrating their win at a local bar, telling them she had a lot of work to do. It had certainly been the truth; the guys had been a veritable fountain of information tonight. She now had a new lead to follow up on and needed to start making arraignments to get to Nigeria as fast as possible.

After weeks of frustration at not being able to find any useful direction to continue her search in she was anxious to get moving again. The people she was after always seemed to be two steps ahead of her, leaving nothing but destruction for her to find. She felt like she was stuck in the middle of a dangerous chess game, continuously waiting for the other person to make a move. The information she'd gotten out of Jason tonight was the first time she'd felt like she might be able to come up with something that would lead her to the artifact she was after. "But only if I can get there in time".

Alex knew she could use a little luck right now. One way or another this mission needed to end, too many people we're being hurt or killed. And being this deep undercover for this long was starting to take its toll on her. She knew what every spy knew; the longer an undercover assignment took the greater risk you ran of losing yourself entirely to the job. While she could control what she thought or how she felt when she was awake, when she was asleep she couldn't control her subconscious or her dreams. When she'd first started this mission she'd dreamt about Hawkeye and the two of them together. But now her dreams were about all the victims she hadn't been able to help or on really bad nights she'd dream about her own childhood and the torture she had endured at the hands of the Red Room all in the name of training her. It didn't matter what she dreamt of, all of her dreams left her feeling empty and alone when she woke up.

After everything she had seen over the last eleven months she was starting to believe that this mission was the one that would finally cost her her soul. You could only look at so much horror and be overwhelmed by so much anger at what you saw before it started to consume you.

The new information couldn't have come at a better time either. According to Jason not only was Stark in town but Hawkeye had arrived a few days ago and the Captain was rumored to be on his way. The last thing she needed was to run into any of the Avengers. They'd have too many questions, questions she wouldn't be willing to answer and if Hawkeye found her… "Well that wouldn't work out too well for me." She thought.

When she'd first selected New York as the place to set up her base of operations it had not only seemed the best place for a photojournalist to live and work but, she'd thought safety lay in having people she trusted close enough to reach out to if needed. If things got too bad as a last resort she could call on her allies to extract her, but that had been before she had fully started to realize what she was up against. Before she had understood just how right Fury had been, this needed to be a solo mission. Now, now she had a different plan to get herself out if it was needed, a very permanent plan. If the people using the artifact ever got a hold of her…"I don't even want to think about the damage that could be done if that happened." She breathed out shuddering slightly at the thought. She would never risk any of the Avenger's being affected by it.

Once Alex arrived home she keyed in the code to disarm her security system and was reaching her hand out to open the door when something made her stop. All of her senses went on alert and she could feel her body go tense, something was wrong. She pulled out the gun she always carried concealed on her and drew a calming breathe, listening through her door for any signs someone was inside. When she didn't hear anything she slowly opened the door, quickly sweeping the rooms for any signs of an intruder. Nothing.

"Damn it! maybe this assignment is starting to get to me." She grumbled. But she knew that wasn't right, everything inside of her was telling her someone had been there. She walked over to her computer and glanced down. "Shit!" She felt like hitting something. The small piece of paper she'd left on top of the machine was now lying on the table. Sometimes the old tricks of her trade worked best and this one had just told her someone had gotten to her computer. All she could do now was hope like hell her security had held.

The Black Widow pushed her Alex persona to the back of her mind. She needed to think, she needed a plan and she needed to figure out who had been in her apartment fast. What she didn't need was any new problems. She didn't believe it was the group she'd been tracking for months. This wasn't their style; they didn't do stealth, they did full on assault. This wasn't really like any of the Avenger's either. If it had been Stark or Steve they would have been waiting outside her apartment. One with a lecture and the other with a snide remark before asking what she was doing. And Hawkeye, well for a man so damn good at his job, he was a hot head. No, he would have been in her face demanding answers and unwilling to leave or back down until he got them from her. A more plausible answer was that it was one of the many people she'd helped SHIELD bring in that Hydra had let out of the Fridge. "Damn it all to Hell I do not need this right now!"

The Black Widow booked the first flight she could get to Nigeria, wishing like hell she could just call up a SHIELD jet. Once she had everything she would need to leave in the morning she settled in for another long sleepless night. Speaking out angrily into the darkness at her unseen intruder. "You want to play games?! Bring it on. I'm in the mood to kill someone right now."

**AN: Reviews are greatly appreciated. **


	4. Secret, Secret, Who's Got a Secret

**AN: I've added Stark and Coulson to this chapter because I thought Clint could use a friend and Natasha needs someone to start figuring things out. :-)**

**I'd also like to thank everyone that has reviewed, favorited and followed this story. It really means a lot to me.**

* * *

Tony looked up from the project he'd been working on as Clint stormed into the Avenger's tower, one look at the other man's face and Tony knew he shouldn't mess with him but he couldn't help himself. "So I take it we now know for sure that Houdini is alive and well? Are you any closer to figuring out why the disappearing act?"

If it hadn't been for Clint knowing Natasha so well and telling JARVIS what to look for Tony may have never found her. Her one mistake, if you could call it that, had been joining an MMA gym. Hell Tony knew he would never have thought to look at small gym's to find her. But then last week JARVIS had found an article about a mom and pop gym that a year ago had been about to go under, their fighters couldn't win a single match, now they were the gym to beat. The only new person there had been a journalist named Alexandra Taylor and Presto one deadly spider found.

Clint stopped and looked at the other man considering him. While he wanted the showdown that was coming with Natasha to be strictly between the two of them he could use Stark's help tonight. No telling what was on Nat's computer. Clint held up the flash drive "Not yet, but by morning I will be. Wanna help?"

Tony stood up rubbing his hands together, with a smirk on his face he walked over to Clint and grabbed the flash drive out of his hands. "Ooooh, spy on the super spy…I'm so in. JARVIS, we've got work to do." Tony plugged the drive in "Ok JARVIS what have we got here?''

"Actually, quite a lot sir. Where would you like to start?"

"The Pictures" Clint chimed in. "Where were these pictures taken? If we can figure out where she's been maybe we can figure out what she's doing." Both men felt like they'd been slammed into the middle of a horror movie as the pictures Natasha had taken encircle them. Jarvis started naming off several different cities and small villages. Some the men were familiar with others they'd never heard of.

"Holy Fuck" Tony exclaimed. "What is all this? You don't think that she... No I know her there's no way she did this." He may not have trusted Natasha when he'd first met her, but now she was one of the first one's he would want by his side in a fight. She was certainly deadly and you wouldn't want to piss her off but, if she called you friend she'd die defending you. He swung his arms wide causing all the pictures to disappear; he couldn't take all the carnage any more. "Why would she go off on her own and not get the rest of us involved? Whoever is behind this is one sick fuck and dangerous. Christ there are children in some of these pics!"

"I wish like hell I knew." Clint said wiping a hand over his eyes trying to get the images out of his head. "All I can come up with is that she decided none of us could be trusted. That or she can't." He said bitterly.

The longer Natasha stayed away not just from him but from the other Avenger's as well, the more he wondered if she had changed sides again. Hell of all the things she had shared with him about herself the one thing he could never get a straight answer about was why she had accepted his offer to join SHIELD. All she'd ever say was "why not? The offer seemed reasonable." Clint hated himself for thinking this way, but really he didn't know what to make of what she was doing or why in the hell she'd just left him.

He and Tony Both had tried to get something out of Maria Hill, but Maria steadfastly maintained she had no idea why Natasha had taken off or where she'd gone. He was sure Maria was hiding something from them, but she was too worried about Natasha for him not to believe Maria really didn't know why Nat had left. No whatever secret Maria was keeping Rodgers knew it too. He'd caught them arguing about it, but both had sworn what they were arguing about had nothing to do with Natasha. And as much as Captain Sunshine got on his nerves Clint knew the other man wanted Nat found.

Clint turned back to Tony who was quickly going through the other files on Natasha's computer. "What else do we have?" He was growing impatient to get some answers. He just wanted to find out what she was up to, confront her about it, then get on with his life. He needed to know if she had to be stopped, then he could walk away. She didn't want or need him, he'd gotten the message loud and clear and Clint just wanted some closure.

"Like JARVIS said, a lot. The problem is I can't really make sense of what she's looking for and she is looking for something that much is clear." Tony replied without looking up from what he was doing. "There's a ton of research on here. Look at these" Tony pulled up a bunch of documents for Clint. "This is all on myths and legends. But she's not concentrating on any particular culture. "This" Tony said while pointing at one document "this is Norse Myth's" Scrolling through other articles he continued "But these are Egyptian, Greek, Mayan, and Japanese, Chinese…It goes on."

"What are these?" Clint asked pulling up what looked to be more scientific in nature and less like a kid's high school history homework. "They look like weapons specs."

Tony studied them for a moment considering what they might mean. "No, not weapons specs per se, it's more like she's researching how to weaponize something. These are about delivery methods not any particular type of weapon."

Clint's eyes widened in alarm "What?! You mean like for a chemical or biological weapon?" It was looking more and more to him that he may have to finish his original mission and take her out.

"Hmmmm," Tony hummed now completely engrossed in something else he had found. "Everything really. Sure some of those would work for that. But there's also information on there about diffusing lasers and spreading out its beam across a large area. Like I said her research is all over the map." Tony pulled up a hologram image of the wrist bands the black widow was known for wearing, turning the image this way and that. "Fuck! This is not good."

But Clint was now ignoring the other man. He'd found what he knew was the key to finding out what Natasha was involved in. The problem was he couldn't make sense of any of it. "JARVIS, can you decode this? It's Natasha's personal code not something SHIELD used." Natasha only used this code when she needed to keep detailed records about information she'd gathered or a mission. The problem was it was something she'd made up for her personal use only and she hadn't been willing to share how to decipher it with Clint. All he knew was that if Natasha was using this then there was information she wanted to ensure didn't get overlooked or she was going to share with someone else. Part of Clint wondered when he'd finally come to accept JARVIS and when in the hell had he started talking to the computer like it was another human being. He was used to having the best technology at his disposal but JARVIS creeped him out a little, but if it meant getting something useful on Natasha he'd deal with it.

Tony walked over to Clint to look at the new documents. He was going to need Barton's full attention when he showed him what he'd found and right now Barton was engrossed in the coded documents. "What is that? Russian and uh…Greek. JARIVS translate this."

"Yes, sir. Actually it's eight different languages but as you can see translating it won't do any good." The computer replied, displaying the first two translated lines of one of the documents for the men to read. _**Purple dog grocery mayhem falls. Lightning under sea goes south from news. **_"I estimate it will take me six to eight weeks to decode this."

Tony brought his hand up and circled a finger around his ear in the international sign for crazy "Do you think maybe she's just finally cracked?" Some of the other things he'd found made the possibility seem more plausible.

"No. I think she's a hell of a lot smarter than she lets very many people know. The documents make sense we just need to figure out the key to deciphering it." Clint ground out, his irritation growing. Trust Natasha to make this difficult.

Tony grew serious, pulling up the hologram of Natasha's wrist bands again. 'You need to see these. Do you see here? She's modified these."

Clint was unimpressed "She does that all the time, she's always looking for more effective ways to take down her opponent."

"Her opponent yes…But…This, this is designed to.." Tony found he was having a hard time telling Barton what he'd discovered. "To kill herself. Well to take herself and anyone within a 200 yard radius down. If she sets this off she'll vaporize herself." Tony watched Barton's face turn to stone as he absorbed the new information. Barton had told him many times over the last eleven months that he was over Natasha, but Tony knew that it was a lie the other man was using to cope with not being able to find her. Tony had watched the two of them together over the past few years and he knew Barton would get over Natasha about the same time the sun ceased to exist.

Clint's voice when he finally spoke was flat and emotionless "So now all we need to know is if that little surprise is for whoever did all that carnage in those photos or if it's meant for us if we get too close." Clint was angry. Angry at Natasha for taking off in the first place, angry that she was considering a suicide play and angry at himself for still giving a damn.

"I don't think this is for us. Look I get that you're pissed off at her, hell I'm angry at Mata Hari. But do I think we're her target? No and neither do you." Tony wasn't really fond of getting involved in someone's personal business, well to mess with them yes but not seriously, but Barton really needed someone to remind him that despite everything Romanoff wasn't the enemy. She did have an enemy that much was clear to Tony and she was playing for keeps with this one, which had him worried. She should have clued the rest of them in so they could help her, that was sorta the point of continuing the Avenger's initiative. They were supposed to operate as a team.

Jarvis interrupted the two men lost in their own thoughts "Sir, I've cracked the security program Ms. Romanoff has running on her computer. Ms. Romanoff put it in place a month ago and it works like a standard high level security protocol for a SHIELD facility, she has to check in with the computer at set time intervals"

Clint felt suddenly cold. He knew how that particular protocol worked and it usually ended with an entire building coming down on your head if the check in time was missed "What exactly happens if she misses check in?" God, would she bring an entire apartment building down on a bunch of innocent people. She'd had charges set all over her apartment and he hadn't thought to check to see if any of them had been connected to her computer.

"A message is sent out to several different coordinates. But there is nothing on record as being at these coordinates to receive the message. I can display it if you'd like." JARVIS responded as he pulled up a map indicating the coordinates on it and a copy of the message.

"These are SHIELD facilities." When Tony looked at him Clint shrugged. "There off book to keep prying eyes out. Or more accurately they were for Fury's private use for things he didn't want the council to know about or interfere in. I've been to a couple of them." Apparently Natasha had been to several more then he had. But that made sense, she had often been Fury's go to agent any time the man went off grid. "What makes no sense is why contact any of these. There only manned by one mid-level agent. Not much those guys would or could do for her."

Clint and Tony both turned their attention to the message and their jaws dropped. _**Dear Coulson, So happy to see your still alive and kicking (Don't try to deny it I saw you myself.) Sorry I couldn't stick around to say hi but you were busy fighting off the Army, and I was busy stocking up on a few toys. But I digress, if you're receiving this message it means that while you're living the high life mine has come to an end. (And if you even consider using that nightmare of an experiment on me there will be too many pieces of you scattered around the globe to bring you back a second time! Yes I know about Project Tahiti.) I need you to put the following obituary in every newspaper. Former SHIELD agent Natasha Romanoff died yesterday in a parachuting accident when her chute failed to open. There will be no service and Ms. Romanoff will be buried at Bellevue Cemetery in Stillwell, Oklahoma. Don't worry the person the message is for will understand. And Coulson a word of advice, stay out of it. This is NOT something for your little ragtag group to take on. You and Ming concentrate on keeping them alive and rebuilding SHIELD. Let the big bad wolf deal with this one. It's been a pleasure working with you my friend, Natasha. P.S. tell Clint I'm sorry. And you might want to apologize to him yourself, oh and that cellist I worked so hard to get you to ask on a date.**_

Tony grew almost as angry as Clint "I'm fucking sick of being twelve steps behind! JARVIS send a message to each one of those coordinates. Tell Coulson Iron Man would like a word." He'd mourned the man for no reason. He'd allowed Fury to manipulate him and if there was one thing Tony hated more than anything else it was being manipulated. If Fury wasn't dead they'd have one hell of a conversation. Christ Pepper had cried for two days when Tony had told her Loki had killed Phil. "SHIELD and their fucking secrets! JARVIS see what you can find on Tahiti!"

For once Clint found himself agreeing with Stark about SHIELD. Coulson was alive, how long had Natasha known about that. It was just one more thing she hadn't seen fit to tell him. She'd seen how badly he'd beaten himself up over what he'd thought had happened to Agent Coulson and not one God damn word from her. Shit, he had considered Phil a friend not just a co-worker and Coulson hadn't seen fit to tell him he was alive either. "If you're looking for someone to argue with you about SHIELD I'm not your guy. Do you think Coulson will bother to respond?"

Tony didn't have time to reply as an image of Coulson appeared on the screen. "Stark, Barton, what can I do for you?" He tried to appear nonchalant but he wasn't exactly advertising his whereabouts and the fact that Stark was looking for him meant something bad was happening. Phil had enough to deal with trying to reestablish SHIELD and fighting HYDRA.

"You can start by explaining the whole fucking I'm not really dead thing! Oh and why we had to learn about it in a God damn letter!" Tony barked out.

Phil winced, it hadn't been his call to keep his status a secret, but now it was working to his advantage not to share with everyone on the planet. And he'd hate to see that come to an end just because Stark was pissed off. "I was dead, for a little while. Now I'm better. Director Fury thought it wise to keep it quiet." Even from me, Phil added silently. "Wait! What letter?!" Phil looked over to someone standing off screen, his look conveying his concern. The last thing they needed was anything floating around telling the world where to find him and his team. Nor did he think it was a good idea for any of the Avengers to know about Tahiti. No that was a shit storm he could do without.

Tony tap a few keys so that Coulson could now see Natasha's letter. Both Tony and Clint watched as May stepped in to view on their screen, Clint nodded to her in greeting. Happy to see that at least one agent he'd called friend had not turn out to be a HYDRA agent. There had been too many agents over of the last year that had gone from being someone Clint had not only gone into battle with and trusted to someone he'd had to hunt down and take out of the game all together. Tony and Clint stood watching as the two SHIELD agents discussed Natasha's letter.

"She was at Providence? It would have been nice if she'd have provided a little back up." Phil said.

But May just shrugged "If Romanoff chose not to fight she had a reason."

"Tahiti?"

This elicited a rare smile out of May "If Romanoff wants to know about something there's nothing you, SHIELD or Fury himself could have done to keep her from getting the information. She's just that damn good. But it looks like she's been read in on quite a lot of things, or she's keeping tabs on us."

Clint grew tired of listening to the two SHIELD agents, he wanted some damn answers. "So you're rebuilding SHIELD, I take it that the radio silence from you about it means my services are no longer required? Just tell me this much, what assignment is Natasha on?" Clint asked, knowing he sounded exactly how he felt angry and bitter. He'd deal with how he felt about being out as far as SHIELD was concerned later. Right now he needed to hear Coulson confirm that Natasha was still working for them and not someone else, even if Coulson just said it was classified.

Clint watched as Coulson blinked rapidly, he knew that look. It meant Coulson was calculating in his head exactly what and how much he would say. Clint just stood there staring the other man down, one way or another he was going to get some answers out of Coulson.

Coulson sighed. Secrets were important in their line of work, but all the compartmentalizing and secret keeping that had gone on in SHIELD had been the reason HYDRA had been able to operate so freely within the organization. Phil knew that if SHIELD was going to get back on track some things needed to be done differently. "Look, I wasn't cutting you out of SHIELD. I just thought it was in everyone's best interest that the Avengers operate without any SHIELD ties for now. Everyone's leaving you alone to do your own thing without any outside interference. But if the government got wind that I'm trying to put SHIELD back together...Well, right now you know they would do whatever they could to stop it. I wasn't cutting you out Clint. I was just…"

"I got it." Clint cut in. "What about Natasha? Exactly what is so important to SHIELD that Natasha needed to disappear for eleven months?!"

Coulson was a little taken back by Clint's question, but it didn't take him long to start putting the pieces together and it explained a few things about her letter. He found it surprising that neither Maria or Rodgers had told the other two that Fury was alive, but if Natasha had gone dark she was working for Fury. From the look on Clint's face Coulson also knew the man was about at the end of his rope. Well having allies wasn't going to do him any good if he couldn't trust them, it was time to fill Barton and Stark in on a few things.

"Romanoff isn't working for me or rather SHIELD. I don't know what her assignment is." Phil started, seeing the look on Barton's face he continued quickly before the other man completely lost it. "Look, there are a few things you guys need to know. First , if you haven't figured it out already I'm the new Director of SHIELD and yes, I'm trying to put SHIELD back together. But, Director Fury is alive, he was never dead. He's just chosen to do what he feels needs to be done outside of SHIELD, He's gone dark. If Romanoff hasn't contacted any of you she's with Fury or at least she's taking her orders from him. You know Romanoff, it Fury tells her to do something she gets it done. If Fury told her to keep it off book, then that's exactly what she's doing. One thing I do know is that the Director isn't off on some beach sipping mai tai's and enjoying his retirement."

"I've heard enough, you can deal with him." Clint told Tony his voice cold. As he walked away he heard Tony saying to Coulson "Soooo, let's talk Tahiti."

Clint walked out along the walkway that Stark used when he was returning to the tower in his Iron man suit. His head was spinning with everything he was trying to come to terms with. Not only was Coulson alive but so was Fury. Fury, he was pretty damn sure that was the secret that Maria and Rodgers had been keeping. "Christ that would have been useful information eleven months ago."

But Coulson was right. Fury being alive meant that's who Natasha was working for. If Fury gave an order Natasha did it, no questions, no second guessing. She'd deal with the consequences of it later. The only real argument Clint and Natasha had ever had had been when Clint hadn't liked what Fury had ordered them to do and he'd changed the parameters of the mission. Nat had gone completely ballistic. It hadn't even fazed her when Clint reminded her that was exactly why she was still alive.

SHIELD, Fury, Natasha…Clint was tired of it all. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the necklace, looking at the arrow. He heard Tony coming up behind him and with one swift movement he tossed the necklace off the side of the building. Turning to face Tony he said "Tell Banner I'll leave for Bangladesh tomorrow and check out General Tao for him."

Tony pulled up short "Wait, what about Natasha? Whatever she's doing for Fury it isn't good. This is Fury we're talking about."

"What about her? She's made her choice and it's Fury. Not SHIELD, not us and sure as hell not me. She's a big girl and she can take care of herself. I need to get ready to leave."

As Tony watched Clint storm off JARVIS spoke up. "Sir Alexandra Taylor has booked a flight into Nigeria for tomorrow."

"Great. Hot, dusty just where I wanted to spend my week. JARVIS find out exactly where in Nigeria she'll be I'd like to get there ahead of her." Tony shook his head, he couldn't believe Barton was really just going to walk away from this. He got it, it had to have been a big blow to Barton to find out about Coulson and Fury. But Tony had his own theory about why the tiny Amazon was going it alone. What had Barton said "She's made her choice and it was Fury." No, Tony didn't think that was right. Her modified wrist bands, the letter to Coulson all said she didn't think she was going to make it out of this one. No, the way Tony saw it Fury had put Natasha neck deep in shit and Natasha was keeping her distance from the team not because she didn't trust them, but because she was protecting them from Fury's latest mess. "Well, someone needs to make sure she's not the one who ends up actually being dead."

Tony reached down to pick up his cell phone to call Pepper and let her know he was leaving. He looked up at the sound of footsteps and saw Barton standing there; his Hawkeye suit on and a bag slung over his shoulder. "I thought you weren't leaving until tomorrow."

"Change of Plans, you're going to Bangladesh." Clint replied grimly

But Tony was smiling "And you're going?"

"To Nigeria." Clint answered before turning around to leave mumbling to himself as he went "After I find the damn necklace so I can choke her with it."

"JARVIS, 500 dollars says they level half of Nigeria when those two start arguing with each other. Get Hill and Rodgers for me, we need to have a little chat about how I feel about fucking secrets."

* * *

**AN: As always reviews are greatly appreciated. I'm hoping to get the next chapter posted a little quicker than I did this one.**


	5. I'm Over You, Right?

**AN: Thank you to everyone that reviewed this story or followed, favorited. A big thank you to Qweb and Batghost for catching my mistake in the last chapter so I could fix it, I have no idea what I was thinking. Just a reminder that flashback scenes are italicized. I used Google translate for the Russian, sorry for any mistakes.**

* * *

**Makurdi, Nigeria**

The Black Widow, her breathing heavy and her body shaking, made her way down a dirty alley as quickly as possible. Trying to make it back to the small abandoned house on the outskirts of town that she was now using. She'd vacated the room at the hotel she'd been staying at yesterday, afraid her cover may have been blown. The wake of bodies she'd just left behind confirmed she'd been made.

Normally she wouldn't let that bother her, she'd simply adjust her tactics. But now she could feel the fear and panic trying to take a hold of her, the bile rising up in her throat threatening to choke her. She stopped to draw in a few deep breathes "Вы так проиграешь, если вы не держите его вместе Наталия" (You are so screwed if you don't hold it together Natasha)

Yes, she'd been made, but she'd also discovered who was behind the show of horror she'd been following for the last year. The Baron, Baron Von Strucker was alive and behind all this death and violence. "Christ I should have known, nobody else is sick enough to do the things he has." Seeing him was what had all of her instincts screaming at her to run and make sure no one ever found her had told her that he had personally killed the Baron. The shock of seeing him alive was more than she could take.

The Black Widow felt herself start to shudder as she sank down along the side of a building, closing her eyes. She knew any delay in her getting some place safe was dangerous but she didn't think her legs would carry her any farther at the moment. She could still hear the echo of the Baron's voice calling out to her after she'd fought off all of his men. "You can run little Natalia, but I will find you. Then we'll play, just like the old times."

Memories of her time with the Baron started pushing their way to the surface. Von Strucker the man who had trained her from the time she was ten to be the one of the best assassins in the world, the things he'd put her through to turn her into that assassin, all the things she'd done to prove to him she was the best.

All of the things Von Strucker had said to her over her years of training under him ran through her head like a bad movie_. "Kill them Natalia, it's not just what you do it's who you are. What good are you if you can't take their life." "Kill them little Natalia. Either you kill them or they'll kill you. Either way only one person will walk out of this room." "Why did you let her live? Did you think she was your friend? You disappoint me. Caring is for weak children Natalia, you are not weak. You are the Black Widow. You take out your prey, no mercy. " "See little one, you are no longer Natalia. Natalia was weak, she was a child. You're now my deadly spider. The Black Widow is not weak, she is perfect."_

The Black Widow glanced around to see if anyone had taken notice of her sitting in the dingy alley. If anyone had come up to her and asked her who she was she wouldn't have been able to answer them. SHIELD agent? The Black Widow? Natalia? Natasha? All of the hundreds of covers she'd used over the years. All of them were swirling around in her head until she felt as though she was losing her grip on her sanity.

All she knew for sure was that she was afraid. She hadn't felt this much fear since the Hulk had swatted her across the Helicarrier like she was nothing more than an annoying fly. But then she'd had people that had needed her, she'd been able to pull it together to go after Hawkeye and help him. Now, now it was just her and Von Strucker. The man who had helped the Red Room rip her mind apart and recreate her, the man she feared like no other. But she realized the man evoked other emotions in her as well, anger and hate. She latched on to those as if they were a life line, letting the anger and hate well up inside of her and consume her. These emotions, these she could use.

The Black Widow pushed herself up, her voice cold and deadly she made a vow to herself and Baron Von Strucker. "Нет, нет я не изнемогал. Не буду скрывать, барон, мы будем играть. Мы оба всегда знал, что моя смерть придет на ваши руки, но я беру тебя с собой." (No, no I am not weak. I won't hide Baron, we will play. We both always knew my death would come at your hands, but I'm taking you with me). She continued down the alley her face a blank mask, her stride confident. It no longer mattered what she called herself or whether she lived or died.

When she'd come to Nigeria she had planned on fighting like hell to survive and complete her mission. All she'd wanted was to get this over with so she could go back to her old life. Taking precautions to ensure she wasn't captured had been just that, precautions. Now all that mattered was Baron Von Strucker and that he died by her hands. He'd taught her to survive, and that would be the element of surprise she needed to beat him. She had no intention of outliving him, they were both going to die here. She was over letting the Baron have control of her and all the voices from her past would finally be silent, the red in her ledger would no longer matter. She simply had to wait for him to make his move so that she could make hers.

* * *

Clint sat in the musty house, drumming his fingers impatiently on the rickety table his bow was sitting on. He'd followed Natasha to Lagos but had lost her trail there. It had taken him three frustrating days to catch up to her in Makurdi, now he was waiting for her to return to the house she was holing up in. He'd already searched the place and found her Black Widow outfit along with what looked to be every weapon and explosive she'd had stashed back at her apartment. She'd paid someone a hell of a lot of money to get all that crap smuggled into the country. But it did tell him that whatever Natasha was trying to accomplish she was planning on it happening here.

"Looks like I got here in time to crash the party, now I just need the guest of honor to show up." He'd had enough of having nothing to do but think about everything he'd learned over the past week. Coulson was alive, Fury was alive. All Clint felt was angry and betrayed by the people closest to him. And Fury, he wasn't sure what to make of what Fury and Natasha were up to, not that he actually knew what the hell that was. But Clint had always admired and respected Fury and right now he was questioning whether the man had sent Nat off knowing he was sending her on a suicide mission.

He'd spent the entire trip to Nigeria thinking about the modifications Stark had told him Natasha had made to her wrist bands. It didn't make any sense, Natasha was a survivor. She'd fight with a ferocity that would leave his head spinning to get them out of a bad situation alive. And she was a brilliant tactician, she could assess any situation and formulate a new plan at lightning speed when things started going to shit on an op. No the modifications made no sense unless she knew going in that there would be no escape route. "God damn it Natasha. I know you, you fight and you don't stop until everyone around you has gone down." Right now he just wanted to get his hands on her so that he could shake some sense into her and strangle her himself for putting him through this.

He stood up and looked out the window. "Where in the fuck are you, Nat?" It was getting dark and he'd been there for hours. It wasn't like her to leave her Widow suit unattended for that long, not when she was on a mission and it wasn't secure. Clint suddenly heard a noise outside the door to the house and picked up his bow, drawing back an arrow ready to shoot whoever was on the other side. It sure as hell wouldn't be Natasha, she never made any noise. The woman unconsciously did stealth the way the rest of the human race breathed.

The Black Widow had taken the long way around the city to return to her hideout, ensuring no one was following her. She'd need her suit for what was coming and it would ruin her plans if the Baron got to her before she was ready for him. She also knew she needed some rest before what was literally going to be the fight of her life took place. As she approached the door she heard the faint noise of movement from inside. Drawing both her weapons she steadied her breathing before kicking the door open.

Hawkeye and the Black Widow stood facing off in the dimly lit room. Both had their weapons drawn and ready to shoot the other, the look on their faces telegraphing their deadly intent. Clint stood there assessing the look on Natasha's face. The facade she was presenting was unlike any he had ever seen on her before, her eyes reflected back nothing but rage and hate. As angry as he was with her he knew instinctively she wouldn't be the first one to lower their weapon. If he didn't want to get into a shooting match with her he would need to diffuse the situation a little.

Keeping his eyes on her Clint released the tension on his bow and then slowly lowered it until it was lying on the table next to him. Still moving slowly he raised his hands up to show her he wasn't going to go for any other weapons. He stood there staring at her intently, not speaking to her. Just waiting for her to decide what her next move would be. He let out a breath when Natasha lowered then holstered her guns.

Natasha felt like her life where crumbling down around her. But she'd made damn sure it was really Clint she was dealing with before relaxing her stance. He could not be here, not now. She'd found the resolve to do what needed to be done in order to stop the Baron, she couldn't do that if he was here. For one thing he'd never go along with her plan. For another she'd be too worried about protecting him from the Baron to accomplish her goal. Her need to get him to leave, to go someplace, anyplace safe and away from the Baron and his new and improved toy was making her start to feel like she was trapped in a Greek tragedy.

They stood there for several minutes each just staring the other down before they both erupted at the same time. "I want a God damn explanation Natasha!" "What in the hell are you doing here Clint?! I could have killed you!"

Clint hadn't thought it was possible to be any angrier at her than he'd already been, but her idiotic question sent his temper soaring. "What am I doing here?! The same fucking thing I've been doing for a year! Looking for you Natasha! How about instead of asking me stupid questions you give me some God Damn answers. We can start with what are you and Fury up to?!" he roared out at her, pretty sure he was going to wind up killing her out of sheer frustration.

"Fury's dead. So We're not up to anything." She yelled back at him. She wasn't sure what Clint knew so it was better to feel him out rather than give anything up herself. The fact that he was angry was helping her too, angry she could handle. It was all the other emotions that came with suddenly seeing him that she was afraid of. Besides Natasha reasoned it was somewhat true, she hadn't talked to Fury in almost a year so technically "they" weren't up to anything, she was on her own here.

Clint tried taking a few deep breaths before speaking to her again, knowing that no one could make him as angry as Natasha when she pulled her interrogator mode on him and he was already angry enough. "Let's make this simple shall we. I know Coulson is alive, I know Fury is alive and that you're working with him. I know about the letter that you have programmed and waiting to be delivered to Coulson with your own Fucking obituary in it! So how about you start talking. Why exactly do you have enough weapons and explosives in this place to level this entire town? What in the hell is going on Nat?!" He knew that the volume of his voice had increased with every sentence and he knew that he'd made a mistake moving closer to her as he'd talked.

Natasha tensed as Clint moved in to her personal space and felt herself panic. She could smell him, the scent of the wax he used for his bow and the sandalwood soap he preferred enveloped her. She could feel the box in the back of her brain, the one labeled Natasha pushing to open up. That she couldn't allow to happen, she couldn't deal with all the thoughts and feelings she had for him that would come with opening that box. Not if she wanted to keep it together long enough to kill the Baron.

Natasha let a smirk show on her face. One designed to make him angrier than he already was, hoping she could make him angry enough to walk away. "Well, you seem to have all the answers you need. You said it yourself, I'm working for Fury. Anything more than that is none of your business." She told him as she stepped around him, using her best thanks but your dismissed now voice.

Clint couldn't believe he wasn't seeing red by now and that his blood pressure hadn't reached astronomical proportions, but he knew her and he'd seen that moment of panic in her eyes. Something about him just being there was frightening Natasha. Well if she wanted to play push the others buttons he'd play. He could practically see her building the walls around herself to keep him out. He knew that if he gave her the chance to get them fully up and in place nothing would drag any information out of her. No when it came to Natasha he didn't back down, not even from her, and it was time he reminded her of that fact.

Clint walked over to his bag and pulled out her necklace, holding it up for her to see. It was time to push back and push back hard "Wrong answer. This, this makes it my business. You remember this don't you? You remember what it was supposed to mean? A commitment Tasha. A commitment between you and me to always tell the other one what was going on. To always be there. Because I sure as hell remember the night you let me put it around your neck. The night that you, Tasha, agreed to marry me."

But Natasha wasn't listening to him anymore. She was staring at the necklace as a flood of memories hit her like a tidal wave. The box she'd kept so firmly shut for the last year was opened and everything she'd been avoiding thinking about or feeling hit her like a sucker punch. She remembered alright, she remembered the first time she'd kissed him that had had nothing to do with a mission and everything to do with how she felt about him. That memory was all she could see.

_The battle of New York was over and they had just watched Thor and Loki disappear back to Asgard. She and Clint got into the car that had been provided for them, but long after everyone else had left Clint just sat there staring out the window not even starting the car. "Nat, maybe you should take the car and I'll…I'll find my own way back." He'd told her quietly. Natasha cursed herself out. This was her fault, she'd been so wrapped up in dealing with how she now felt and trying to decide what to do about it, that she'd barely spoken to him since the battle had ended. It was not only past time for her to keep him from dwelling on everything he had done while under Loki's control, but it was time for her to put aside her own fears and tell Clint what was going on with her._

_Natasha reached over and placed her hand on Clint's cheek forcing him to look at her. She looked him in the eyes and steadying her nerves quietly told him "No. I'm sorry I've been so quiet it's just that I needed to work some things out and I've been ignoring what you need."_

_Clint reached up putting his hand over hers "I know you have things going on and you should deal with them. But I think I just need some time alone."_

_Natasha sighed, he wasn't going to make this easy on her. Maybe she should give him some more time to come to terms with everything. But deep down inside she knew that was not only the easy way out but also her fear talking. She knew what having someone else mess with your mind was like and she knew from experience that being alone was the last thing Clint needed in order to deal with it. "No, You should not be alone and Clint..I..I need you." Natasha whispered so softly she wasn't sure he'd actually heard her just before she leaned over and kissed him. _

_But he had heard her, almost the instant her lips had touched his he'd leaned over pulling her closer to him and deepened the kiss. When they Finally drew away from each other he had seemed unsure, "You don't have to do.."_

_But she cut him off, "Yes I do. I don't really feel like checking back in with SHIELD right now, just find us some place we can be alone." With that she had leaned back in her seat while Clint made record time getting them out of New York. Within a few hours he'd found them a rather nice hotel in a small town in Pennsylvania. _

_Clint checked them in forgoing their usual two adjoining rooms for just one. The moment the bellhop had left them alone Clint pulled her to him wrapping his arms around her like a steal band. This time when Clint kissed her it wasn't gentle and exploratory like the one in the car had been. No this one was all hunger and passion, his hands clutching at her back as if he were afraid she might disappear. This time he was letting her see everything he felt for her and how much he wanted her. Natasha found it slightly overwhelming. But when he pulled back she'd almost cried out in frustration._

_He gently placed his finger under her chin forcing her to look him in the eyes, his look and his voice intent. "I'm giving you the chance to change your mind about this Tasha. Because if this goes any farther then that's it, no turning back, no walking away for either of us. This isn't a fling or an affair. This Natasha is for real and if we do this I'm not going to let you go. I've waited four years for this and I have no intention of ever letting this end. So I'm giving you this chance to walk out that door."_

_Natasha returned his look, her voice steady even if she was having trouble finding the right words to tell him how she felt. "I told you on the Helicarrier that I'd been compromised. But I wasn't just talking about anything Loki or even I had done. If I'm completely honest with both of us, I've been compromised for a long time now, I just didn't want to acknowledge it. I was afraid of what it might mean. You, you compromise me, or rather how I feel about you does. I had to accept that the moment Coulson told me you were missing. Everything I did after that was colored by how I felt about you. But, I also accepted that I don't care anymore. I don't want to keep you at arm's length. I need you and I want to be with you."_

_And then there were no more words, only lips and hands and flesh against flesh._

Natasha shook her head to clear the memories. She could not do this to herself, not now, she had too much riding on her ability to remain detached. And the man standing in front of her was a threat. Not in the physical sense but in that he was the only who had ever been able to get behind all the barriers she put up. If she let Clint get to her she wasn't sure she would be able to find the strength to take on the Baron. And she sure had hell hadn't spent the last year without Clint to have him now get now get involved in this nightmare. "Christ the Baron was insanely delusional, he wanted one thing and one thing only world domination, and his favorite hobby was mass genocide. And now that the Baron knew she was here he would stop at nothing to get her back under his control. Natasha berated herself, she needed to remember why she was here and stop thinking about how she wished things were different.

Clint watched the emotions play across Natasha's face. He'd been getting to her but now she was doing what she did so well, shutting herself off emotionally. Well he wasn't in the mood for it, she could damn well deal with him whether she liked it or not. Clint moved swiftly taking Natasha by surprise backing her up against the wall, pinning her between the wall and his body. He hadn't really been sure what he was going to do once he got his hands on her, but the decision had been instinctual, almost primal as he angrily brought his lips crashing down on hers. He felt mildly victorious when she responded immediately, wrapping her arms around his neck and returning his kiss hungrily. Whatever was going on with her this at least had not changed and he wasn't opposed to using it against her right now.

Natasha could barely think, her body was on fire and she was flooded with emotions. She wondered if it would be so wrong for her to just allow herself to have one more night with Clint. She'd missed him, not just his touch but him. It had been over a year since she'd even been in the same room with him. She missed being able to talk to him, the comfort he brought her just by being there. She wondered if it would really be wrong to be Natasha for one more day before she faced her past and the Baron.

Clint pulled back from the kiss knowing they still needed to talk. He brought his gaze up to Natasha's face. Her eyes were wide and her lips were parted. He could hear her raspy breath, she was aroused and it was all he could do to not drag her onto the bed then and there.

Natasha knew what Clint wanted but she was done fighting not only him but herself. "Later Clint, we can talk later." She was going to be selfish and give herself one more night to be happy.

At the sound of Natasha's voice, low and sultry, Clint lost all his resolve. "Later." He growled as he brought his lips back down to hers, his hands grabbing her hips to pull her closer to him. Right then all he wanted was her; to remind her of what she'd walked away from, to remind her that she was his. Without breaking the kiss Clint picked Natasha up and carried her over to the bed.

**AN: Reviews are welcome and appreciated.**


	6. This is My Fight

**AN: A big thank you to clarawithfitzsimmonsin221b,** **anteffy1, JacquelineKennedy, ArabianForest, Qweb and LoneOak for reviewing the last chapter. It really means a lot to me to know what others think of my story. Also thank you to everyone that favorited or followed this story.**

**All I can really say about this chapter without giving anything away is that my versions of Natasha and Clint seem to be really stubborn once they've made up their minds. :-)**

* * *

Clint gathered a sleeping Natasha close as she shivered in the early morning air, pressing his body to hers, infusing her with his warmth. He'd lain awake for hours after they'd made love watching her. Not that he would have been able to get any sleep even if he'd been inclined to try. Clint had never seen Natasha like she'd been last night. They both had their share of nightmares, it came with their jobs. But never before had he heard Natasha talk in her sleep, if she knew she'd be angry. For someone like her talking in your sleep was dangerous. A spy could not go undercover if there was the slightest chance they'd blow their cover while they slept.

It wasn't just that Nat was talking in her sleep that had set Clint on edge. It was what she'd said and the way she'd said it. Her voice had been terrified, small, almost child -like as she'd begged "Please don't make me do this, please I don't want to hurt anyone. Please don't make me kill her she's my friend." The worst had been her screaming and promising to do better. Clint had no doubt that she'd been dreaming about her time with the Red Room. But why? She hadn't had any dreams about her life there in years. If whatever Nat was involved in had anything to do with the Red Room then getting her to talk to him was going to be a lot harder than he'd thought. And He'd never thought it was going to be easy in the first place.

Clint leaned over and kissed Natasha on top of her head, whispering softly to her "I'm not going anywhere Tasha, I'm not going to lose you." Making love to Natasha had reminded him of what he'd been trying to deny for months. He needed her, it was actually humbling just how much he needed her. And he'd do whatever he had to, to keep her safe. Whatever was happening here he wasn't going to let her face it alone.

Natasha lay quietly in Clint's arms, her eyes closed, keeping her breathing even and regular. She'd been awake for a while trying to decide what to do. She heard Clint's whispered promise and silently made one of her own "I'm not letting you near this. I may not be able to make you leave Nigeria, but I'm not letting you near this."

Natasha strongly suspected Fury had at least had some idea the Baron was involved in this assignment and that was exactly why he had sent her out on her own instead of calling in Coulson or other the Avenger's. When things were bad Fury was known for asking his agent's what they were willing to do. Hell Natasha had even heard him ask Thor once. But with Von Strucker's involvement that would have been a question Fury would have known there would be no need to ask her. She would do whatever it took to take Von Strucker out and Fury knew that, he'd do the same. But that didn't mean she had to risk Clint's life to accomplish her mission.

As far as Natasha could tell the only obstacle to killing the Baron and destroying the artifact was the man who currently had his arms wrapped around her. Even if she let Clint join her in the fight his arrows would never hit their mark. She didn't understand how, but the bullets she'd fired at the Baron yesterday had simply fallen to the ground mid-flight and they traveled a hell of a lot faster than an arrow. Natasha suspected the strange girl that had been there with the Baron had something to do with her being unable to kill him. She'd heard the Baron tell the girl not to interfere in her fight with his men, it hadn't even bothered Von Strucker that Natasha had killed every one of them. But then again she knew there would be a lot more today. Losing a few men to her wouldn't have bothered the Baron, to him they were expendable.

No, Natasha wasn't willing to risk letting Clint get involved, this was her fight not his. And she knew what she had to do, it was time to let him know she was awake and let last night's fight resume. It was time to make Clint her next mark. Natasha stretched and looked up at Clint her eye's guarded, giving him the impression that she wasn't planning on being very forthcoming. "Good Morning" she told him as she reached up and gave him a light kiss before sitting up to get out of bed.

Clint's eyes narrowed as he sat up reaching out to grab Natasha around the waist stopping her. "We still need to talk. I want an explanation Nat, what the hell is going on." As incredible as last night had been it didn't mean he was going to let her get away with keeping him in the dark. He could be just as stubborn as her when it came to getting his way and after listening to her nightmares he was damn well going to get his way. Like it or not she was stuck with him, there was no way in hell he'd let her continue whatever she was doing on her own.

Natasha turned to study his face. His eyes were intent and the stubborn set of his mouth told her he wasn't going to let it go. Good, she'd fill him in on most of it eventually, but first she needed to make him work for it. If she made it too easy for him he'd know she was up to something. Natasha pushed Clint in the chest forcing him to let go of her so she could stand up. This would be a lot easier if he wasn't touching her. "What exactly is it you want to know? I'm on assignment for Fury and it's off book. It's taken me longer than I thought it would, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm not going to just start giving out the details. SHIELD protocol on that hasn't changed last time I checked."

Clint got out of bed and reached for his clothes, throwing Natasha hers. It would be a lot easier to have this conversation with Natasha if they were both dressed. Not that the fact was bothering her any, Natasha had never been shy and she was just standing there in the middle of the room naked. Clint turned is back to her to keep from forgetting the whole thing and hauling her back to bed. "Nice try. But we both know this mission has nothing to do with SHIELD. Hell SHIELD only consists of Coulson, May and a handful of others. Fury's out, pretending to be dead, which means SHIELD protocols don't apply. Wanna try again, because neither one of us is leaving until you tell me what you're doing here."

Needing to distract herself from the small tattoo on his shoulder, the one of a spider web, Natasha purposely let herself get angry at his highhanded attitude. Did the man honestly think he could stop her? He was damn good at hand to hand combat, but she was better. She let out a little condescending snort before saying "And who's gonna stop me? You? I'd like to see you try." She walked over to the cabinet against the wall and pulled out her Widow's suit. She needed this argument to pick up, she was running out of time. Reminding Clint that she could best him was a quick way to set his teeth on edge.

Clint spun around grounding out. "Don't push me or you'll get to see just how well I can hold my own with you. After eleven months of tracking your ass down I'm in the mood to go a few rounds with someone. If that someone is you, all the better sweetheart." Noticing that Natasha was suiting up Clint walked over to grab his, apparently she was expecting to see some action soon. He was fucking going to find out what was coming, even if it meant putting an arrow through her damn foot to keep her there until she talked.

God she hated it when he called her sweetheart, did the man want her to talk to him or kill him. Seeing what he was doing Natasha coldly informed him "You won't need your suit. You're not going with me, this is **My** mission not ours. Why don't you go back to Stark Tower and I'll let you know when I'm done."

That she was purposely trying to piss him off Clint was certain of and it was working. It was why she was doing it that he couldn't figure out, she was delusional if she thought he was just going to walk away from her. "Not happening. Let me tell you what is happening. You need to finish your mission fine, but I'm in. You walk out that door, I go with you. I've seen the pictures on your computer Nat and there is no way in hell I'm letting you take on whoever did that alone. We're a team, remember. So no. I will not be going back to Stark Tower to spend any more time sitting around wondering if you're dead or alive."

Natasha knew she'd pushed Clint about as far as she could. It was almost time for her to cave and give him some answers or they'd be there all day. She kept her reply short and simple knowing it would push him to the breaking point. "No. My mission, my problem, I'll handle it. I'm not going to let you get involved in this."

He was going to strangle her, he was going to launch himself across the room and strangle her. At least the stubborn woman wouldn't be taking off on her own. "Let Me?! I don't remember asking your permission! What in the hell are you so afraid of Nat? Because something about me being here sure as hell has you scared. You've never turned down back up before and I'm not going to **Let** you start now!"

Natasha had to remind herself she'd started the fight and she needed to keep her cool. She had a goal to accomplish and the fight was simply a way to do it. "Monsters and Magic! I'm after Loki's staff. You remember the staff, well now a different monster has it. And he's improved it, weaponized it so that he doesn't have to actually touch his victims with it to affect them. So excuse me if I didn't want to involve you in that." Natasha tried to sound as if Clint had finally worn her down as she continued. "The people the staff has been used on are turned into killing machines. Those pictures on my computer are of their own family and friends after they've tortured and killed them. And now there's no cure, no cognitive recalibration. They don't stop until someone kills them."

Clint blanched a little, any mention of Loki or his staff all ways put him into a very dark place. Because of Natasha he'd learned to live with what he's done under Loki's control, but that didn't mean he'd forgiven himself for it. Clint started to fit a few of the pieces together. Natasha taking off on her own was because she wouldn't want him anywhere near Loki's staff, not because she no longer wanted to be with him. It would also explain the modification to her wristbands. With no backup she would take precautions against being controlled by whoever had it. What it didn't explain was her nightmares last night. It also didn't explain why Fury would send her off on her own, unless that had been her choice. "There's more going on here than you trying to retrieve the staff. Who has it Nat?"

"Now comes the hard part." Natasha thought to herself. Clint was going to be furious when she told him the rest of what was going on. There'd be no way he'd let her complete the mission without him, but there was no way she was going to let him go with her either. If it had been just about retrieving the staff she probably would have accepted his help. But now that she knew Von Strucker was involved the mission had become personnel, and a lot more dangerous. Clint would never go along with her plan to sacrifice herself in order to kill the Baron and she wasn't about to let Von Strucker leave Makurdi alive.

Natasha drew a deep breath. Clint needed to know what was going on in case she failed, but that didn't make talking about it any easier. "An old friend of mine, Baron Von Strucker. He…He was one of my trainer's, he taught me how to fight, to kill. He made me the Black Widow. " Seeing that Clint was about to interrupt her Natasha shook her head. She had to get this all out at once or she might not be able to finish. "Von Strucker is insane. He believes that one day he will be able to take over the world and he doesn't care how many people he tortures or kills to achieve his goal. What's been happening over the last year is him experimenting, perfecting whatever he's done to the staff. He'll use it to raise an army of vicious killers all under his control, a never ending supply of soldiers that only care about killing."

"And you what Nat, thought it would be a good idea to take on someone from your past alone?!" Clint asked knowing full well that was exactly what she was thinking. "What happened to our agreement that you would let me handle the Red Room?! Christ, if you didn't want me around why didn't you call in Tony or Bruce? Hell your buddy Rodgers would have been here in a heartbeat!" The last thing Clint wanted was for anyone from the Red Room ever getting near Natasha again. That she had survived what they'd done to her was a miracle and he wanted to be the one to kill every one of the bastards himself.

"First of all **We** never agreed to anything, you dictated. Secondly, I had no idea the Baron was involved until yesterday. But that doesn't change anything. I'm going to be the one to kill him. This is my fight, not yours, not Fury's, Mine." Natasha replied back vehemently "You want to kill the ones that ran the Red Room, have at it. But Von Strucker is mine. No one, not you, not him, gets to control what I do here. And I'll be damned if I let him see me hiding behind you!" The Baron was a part of Natasha's past she didn't speak about, not even with Clint and it was time for her to deal with it. No longer would she allow the Baron to make her feel afraid.

Clint could tell from the look in Natasha's eyes he'd never be able to get her to let him handle it. No the best he could do was get her to willing accept his help. But he was going to be there to protect her whether she liked it or not. "It's not you hiding behind me Nat and you know it. It's you not having to deal with those bastards ever again." Clint held up his hand to keep Natasha from interrupting him. "But I know I'm not going to be able to change your mind about this. If you need to do this fine, but I'm going with you. That's non-negotiable, Nat."

Natasha nodded her head to show her acceptance. "Fine, but we do this my way. I know what's coming and I know the Baron, we go with my plan or there's no way we can succeed. That's non-negotiable."

Clint studied Natasha pretty sure he wasn't going to like her plan, but he was also sure if he didn't agree he'd be chasing her around the damn city. "Alright, we do this your way. Tell me the rest."

Natasha didn't know where to start, the whole thing sounded like something out of Hollywood "This is the first time I've been able to arrive before everything happens, so everything I know is from witness accounts. But there seems to be a sequence of events. First things start flying around and by things I mean cars, boulders, and people. Don't ask me how, but I'm fairly certain it has something to do with the girl traveling with the Baron. Once people start to panic and run around a blue light is seen. Anyone hit by the light is affected and they start killing everyone in their path. The town turns into a war zone."

Clint interrupted her "Hmm, ok. But why do you think that some girl is responsible for causing cars to fly through the air? That sounds more like an artifact."

"I don't know, just call it a hunch. She was with the Baron yesterday and when I tried to shoot him something went wrong. I didn't see any artifact, just her concentrating on me. I can't explain it." The girl had looked haunted and trapped. That was a look Natasha knew too well, it was the same look she used to have when she'd first been sent to the Baron. The girl was part of this, Natasha could feel it.

"What's your plan? How do you propose we get close enough to stop Von Strucker?" Clint uncharacteristically began pacing around the room, he hadn't liked what she'd told him so far and he was fairly certain he was going to like what she said next even less.

"We don't get close. I do. You have to hang back out of sight, get the people that haven't been affected by the staff out of harm's way. I'll handle the people that are beyond help. Whatever happens, the Baron cannot see you. If he figures out your there and who you are he won't hesitate to turn that damn blue light on you. If things turn to shit then you can get me out of there." Natasha waited for Clint start listing his objections, no way in hell was going to be happy about her plan. He'd be even less happy if he knew things were going to turn to shit about three seconds after it all started.

Yep, he'd been right. He didn't like it, there were too many flaws with her plan. She was going to get herself killed. "Let me see if I have this right. You want me to hang way back to avoid being hit with the staff and turned into a mindless zombie, but let you go in so Von Strucker can do it to you before you get anywhere near him. What do you think you're immune?"

"No I'm not immune to the staff. But the Baron won't use it on me, at least not here, not yet. I know him, one of the risks of trying to turn someone into a version of yourself is that you let that person into your head. To him when I left the Red Room I betrayed him. When I joined SHIELD and started taking my orders from Fury that, that went way beyond betrayal. Fury and Von Strucker have been enemies for years, I sided with the enemy. No, he won't exact his punishment here. That would be to easy, to merciful for him. If he were to get his hands on me the punishment would go on for weeks, if not months. It wouldn't end it until I was begging for my death and even then he'd keep going until he decided it was time for me to die." Natasha became lost in her memories of things she'd seen the Baron do to people that had angered him, to the things he had done to her when he'd been displeased. She'd needed for Clint to understand exactly what type of person the Baron was in case things went wrong for her today. No matter what happened to her the Baron had to be stopped and Clint was her failsafe to get the information back to Fury.

There was no way in hell Clint was going to go along with her plan. Not after what she'd just told him and he could feel that she was holding something back. "You just said it yourself, the Baron is going to come after you Nat. We have a better chance of both of us coming out of this alive if we go in together." He didn't care what she said he was not going to sit too far back to reach her if this went badly and he had a feeling it was going to go very badly. If she didn't agree with him than she simply didn't need to know he was going to do it anyways.

Natasha reached for her new wrist bands to put them on. She could tell Clint was going to dig in his heels about her plan. "No we don't Clint. The Baron is a part of HYDRA. That means he had access to SHIELD; that means he knows about us, about what you mean to me. He won't hesitate to use that against me, to hurt me. If it gets him control of the infamous Hawkeye, that'll be a bonus. I can't stop him if I suddenly find myself having to stop you. He would get away while we were trying to kill each other and this time I would have to kill you. "

Seeing what Natasha was doing Clint walked over to his bag and pulled out an older version of her wrist bands. "Since you're so certain Von Strucker won't use the staff against you you won't need those." He tossed her the other set at her watching to see what she would do with them, relieved when she simply shrugged and exchanged them. "If we do this your way I want your word that if things go to shit you'll get the hell out of there. Don't make me watch you get yourself killed trying to get revenge against Von Strucker." He had no intention of doing things her way, but he wanted to hear her say she wouldn't do anything stupid. After everything the Red Room had done to her she was right Von Strucker was her fight, but keeping her alive and safe was his.

When Clint's pacing finally moved him close to the bed Natasha walked toward him. She looked at him intently as she made him the one promise she could keep. "I promise you won't have to watch me die today." As she reached up to touch his arm she whispered "and I won't have to risk you dying with me." She watched as Clint crumbled unconscious onto the bed. he hadn't had time to respond before the sting of her widow's bite hit him.

Natasha picked up the necklace off the small table in the room and put it into Clint's hand saying goodbye to the one person that had ever made her happy. She could sense all the different versions of herself floating around in her head, but Natalia was the only version she would need today. No one, not even the Baron really knew Natalia or what she was really capable of. She had learned as a child to only show him a part of herself, hiding the part that she had known she would one day need to defeat him. Natalia didn't care whether anyone lived or died, not even herself. That was how she had survived the Baron. Life, even her own had meant nothing to her. Even the part of her that was the Black Widow had lines she wouldn't cross, limits, Natalia didn't.

As she replaced the wrist bands Clint had brought for her with her new ones she looked down at him. He was the reason that she kept the part of her that was the real Natalia tightly under control, never allowed out to play. Yes, He'd read her file before he'd met her, but he'd never really seen exactly what everything in there had truly meant. No one had. Natasha had made a vow when she'd accepted Clint's offer to join SHIELD that he never would fully see that side of her. But now, now she needed that side of herself, the side that was nothing but vicious, emotionless and most importantly unmerciful.

Hoping to preserve a small part of the woman that Clint had seen the good in Natasha set rules for herself to follow before going after the Baron. Get as many of the innocent's out of harm's way, everyone else take out.

Natalia lifted her head as the sound of people screaming reached her ears. It had begun. She turned and walked out the door saying "Давайте играть барон." (Let's play Baron)

* * *

**AN: I used Google translate for the Russian. As always reviews are welcome and greatly appreciated.**


End file.
